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Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler–Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child (Kindle Edition)
20Mar2008 Filed under: toddler Author: admin
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| Kindle Price: | $7.96 & includes wireless delivery via Amazon Whispernet |
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Editorial Reviews
Review
Make a Difference During the Most Important Years of Your Child’s Life
From the Trade Paperback edition.
Book Description
Make a Difference During the Most Important Years of Your Child’s Life
The months leading up to the birth of a child are filed with joy, dreams, plans—and a few worries. As a caring parent, you want to start your child out in life on the proper foundation. But where do you go for the answers to such questions as: How do I communicate with an infant who doesn’t understand words? How can I effectively teach boundaries to my toddler? Should I ever spank my child?
Over the years, millions of parents just like you have come to trust Jane Nelsen’s classic Positive Discipline series. These books offer a commonsense approach to child-rearing that so often is lacking in today’s world. In Positive Discipline: The First Three Years, you’ll learn how to use kind but firm support to raise a child who is both capable and confident. You’ll find practical solutions and solid advice on how to:
·Encourage independence and exploration while providing appropriate boundaries
·Use non-punitive methods to instill valuable social skills and positive behavior inside and outside the home
·Recognize when your child is ready to master the challenges of sleeping, eating, and potty training, and how to avoid the power struggles that often come with those lessons
·Identify your child’s temperament
·Understand what the latest research in brain development tells us about raising healthy children
·And much, much more!
Containing real-life examples of challenges other parents and caregivers have faced, Positive Discipline: The First Three Years is the one book that no parent should be without.
From the Trade Paperback edition.
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3 Responses to “Positive Discipline: The First Three Years: From Infant to Toddler–Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child (Kindle Edition)”
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admin
03月 20th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
By “babyjacobsmom” (GA)
The idea behind “Positive Discipline: The First Three Years-Laying the Foundation for Raising a Capable, Confident Child” is very good. Many helpful suggestions are given in dealing with children, and it really makes one think about things that he/she does when children are doing things they should not. (For example, the suggestion is given not to snatch something from a child that he/she should not have because this is teaching the child that snatching is okay.)
Most of the suggestions in this book, however, are not really just for ages birth to three. Some of the suggestions do target this age group, but most can cover any age group. I would personally recommend buying the book that covers a broader spectrum of behaviors such as “Positive Discipline A-Z” (also by Jane Nelsen). In my opinion, it covers the same material that is covered in this book but much more! It contains wonderful “common sense” advice that can be used for any age group including birth to age three.
admin
03月 20th, 2008 at 7:15 pm
By Tucson Toddler Mom (Tucson, AZ United States)
….into buying a book that talks about my baby learning to “manipulate me” if I nurse s/he to sleep or hold s/he “too much.” The authors in this book are also obviously not fans of nursing past 12 months OR allowing children to sleep with their parents-two key elements when discussing “attachment Parenting” which, according to Dr. William Sears, sets the ground stage for a happy toddlerhood. Most of the gentle discipline techniques in this book are worth being reminded of, however, are truly common sense when dealing with a toddler and if are not already part of your daily parenting routine, basic parenting classes should DEFINATELY be a priority. Of course, no book can emphasize enough that hitting/slapping/spanking is inappropriate discipline (and this book does a great job of that), but I feel if you are reading this book you probably already know that and are looking for better answers. I recommend “Kids are Worth It” by Barbara Coloroso instead. Most of the gentle discipline techniqes parallel each other in a reading environment that gives more confidence in parental lifestyle choice. Also, “The Discipline Book” by the Sears’ is a definite keeper.
admin
03月 20th, 2008 at 7:16 pm
By H. King (Decatur, GA, USA)
First of all, let me say that nowhere in this book do the authors advocate weaning by twelve months or letting a baby “cry it out,” as some reviewers claimed. If it did, I would have put it down right away in the bookstore and not bought it. If it seemed to clash with Attachment Parenting, a style I am fond of and have used for most of my daughter’s nearly three years, I also would have been less inclined to read it. But it doesn’t do any of those things.
As far as nursing, it merely encourages mothers to watch their children for signs of readiness to wean, instead of forcing a pre-determined schedule for weaning (whether it be at three months or three years). I know several people whose children weaned themselves around one year, so I think there is some truth to the idea that some babies are ready to wean then. I personally nursed my daughter until just over two, so I am not biased against extended nursing. And neither are the authors–they just say to find resources such as La Leche League and other books to discuss nursing, weaning, and extended nursing further. This is not their area of expertise, and they do not claim it to be.
As far as Attachment Parenting (AP), this book makes no reference to it, period. Some reviewers have said that it is pro-AP and some said it is against-AP. I can’t find evidence of either. As I said, I raised my daughter so far strongly guided by the principles of AP. However, she is almost three, and I feel that I need some other philosophies to guide me in my choices. I have not read The Discipline Book by Dr. Sears, but from what I hear it is like most of his books and a bit repetitive of information in all of his books (many of which I have read). I needed a new approach, so I came to the Positive Discipline camp.
To quote the book, “The key is a balance that meets the needs of everyone concerned. A baby should not be left in a playpen or infant seat too long, and a parent should not feel like a slave to his or her child.” Furthermore, they say, “When in doubt, always trust your heart.” Now how does this conflict with Attachment Parenting?
I personally felt like a slave to my child many times when strictly following the guidelines of AP. I am not at all of the mindset that babies should toughen up or learn to soothe themselves at a young age, but there are times in life when we as parents need a break–like to shower, cook a meal, tend to another child, or go to the bathroom alone. This book helps parents find that balance.
This book is very helpful in demonstrating age appropriateness. It helps to be reminded that a toddler’s brain is not like ours, and that they are not capable of understanding concepts that we think they should. There are several ways the author suggests to see for yourself, and that is extremely helpful. To acknowledge this is not insulting to my or my child’s intelligence (as one reviewer said); it is honoring it. Humans have extremely complex brains and it takes time to develop them. A three year old’s brain is not nearly as developed as ours. Period.
On the same token, we should not force infants as that reviewer said into “Infant education.” That is absurd. Some parents go overboard in trying to “teach” their infants things they are not ready to understand yet. Let kids be kids. Play is a children’s work. They learn through experience and discovery, not through videos, TV, flashcards or “lessons” at four hour intervals at age three. That is what the authors are saying. As far as footnotes, this book isn’t written in that format. It’s not supposed to be a research summary. It is a book to guide parents in disciplining their children. The authors do in fact reference researchers, which is all they need to do for this type of book.
It would be helpful if reviewers of this and other books mentioned their children’s ages. I can see how this would not be helpful immediately for parents of an infant. Other books are more appropriate for that age.
I bought this book after hearing a lot of great things from parents whose parenting styles are similar to mine and have pleasant, well-behaved children. I have used some of the methods and strategies that the authors suggest and IT WORKS!!!
I was at my wits’ end with my daughter. She went through a strong testing phase and about did me in. I tried everything–time outs, removal of priveledges, and even a pop on the bottom (twice only, when she was totally out of control). Nothing worked and it all got worse. She went from having a time out once a week to three times a week to three times a day within a couple of weeks. Just as the authors say, punishment does not work. “Children do better when they feel better” they say, and when they are punished, they think to themselves, “I’m bad.” Well guess what? My daughter has even said to me, “I’m bad,” even though I have NEVER uttered those words or anything like it to her. And neither has anyone who has taken care of her, either. This is a judgement she came up with because she was being punished.
I, however, have taken time out. The first time she had a tantrum after reading this book and using the methods (tantrums do happen, the authors say, despite our best efforts), I took a timeout and as the authors suggested I ignored her, picked up a book, and moved to a different room. She finally calmed down, I gave her a hug, did not make a big deal about it, and everything was fine. I let her know that having a tantrum was not going to get her way, nor would she be punished for showing her emotions. She got out her frustration in her tantrum, felt better, then moved onto something else.
I highly recommend this book. It has saved my sanity and possibly my relationship with my daughter. I look forward to reading more from these authors.